Self-Destruction

The alcoholic fiction of Ben Sanderson (Nicolas Cage) in Leaving Las Vegas, a man not only content with his 'slow descent into alcoholism', but for whom there was no answer. No answer in medicine or in science, no answer in Alcoholics Anonymous, no salvation, Old Age or New. Just a maddening, slow descent--a suicide planned, drawn out, and 'enjoyed' through pain, rather than a quick shotgun to the head.

The life of the author of the book--a fantasized ending of his reality? Failed life, failed marriage, some grand work to finally put an end to it all. And yet, even after years of self-destruction, there was a final, certain statement--",said the shotgun to the head."

A life worth exploring. Work--the dreaded reality of the college student, wanting to sleep in and avoid work forever, secretly enjoying going to class and learning, doing nothing else and putting off life. And yet, the sheer enjoyment that is the freedom to Earn a living. To not have to answer to any Teacher, Professor, or Parental Unit. The nightmare of being stuck in a cubicle, shuffling papers in some nightmare of Dilbert. The idealized dream of doing what you love--not a hobby, not a profession, not a career, not a job--but a calling. Perhaps no greater joy than earning your own way through life, the rest created from the 9-to-5.

A life worth exploring. Play--relations lasting decades, or even hours. And everywhere in between. The sensations of the first kiss, the initial dreams of puppy love. The disappointments of failed relationships and unrequited loves. The awkwardness of first dates, the ecstasy of the orgasm (that elusive foe), the untold goodbyes of 'the morning after' (not to mention breakfast) and the lies of 'I'll call you.' The steady, cautious hopes of stressful relationships. The daunting leap of Marriage, the saddened, depressed reality of divorce.

Life lived through action--attraction, application, rejection, fulfillment, work. Whether in the worlds of work or play, whether the goal is to love or just sex, or merely to live and survive, from one paycheck to the next, there is one never ending, overarching necessity: Work. The necessary actions that are prerequisites for entire The Real World (no, not that one), the goals of a career of doing what one wants, and/or getting married to 'The One', if such an ideal actually exists.

To Live. To do anything else is quit.

An unfinished, unrealized life (told through incomplete sentences).